TRM and back Home

Well, post TTC has been quite a busy time. After wrapping up a few things at Kennametal ( I still haven't completed all procedures), I was able to spend almost 4 days every week at the ashram. Assisting the first course at the ashram (with a new perspective) and over 100 participants was a great feeling and a good learning. Come next weekend and I was able to cover a few course points. A very different feeling. I didn't really feel all the Grace and Love that all the TTC mates of mine were talking about, but that is also ok!!! It was a new experience. After that course, I spent a couple of days at home and then went back to the ashram for a couple of days. Guess what?! I was asked to stay on for another week to help out with the Teachers Meet. That meant a little bit of slogging, but no problemo! I got the opportunity to get a glimpse of all the seniormost teachers of the AOL. Interacting with them was fun and I got to learn a lot of, 'what to do' and 'what not to do'!!! Guruji in His infinte Grace and Love just shook up the whole place. On the day I was scheduled to leave the ashram, I woke up a bit late and got really busy immediately that I missed doing the Kriya and Padma. A few hours later, as I was walking down a road with my sister, Guruji passed by in His car. He went a little further and stopped His car. A crowd as usual gathered around the car and people were talking to Him. I quickly ran up and from a distance smiled and bowed my head down. When I looked up, I for the first time in my life got a really cold stare from Him that just sent my eyes downwards! I didn't realise why until I met Swami Soumyatej a few minutes later. As I narrated the event to Him, He asked me, did you skip anything in your Sadhana today?! BINGO!!!! That left me really happy, proud and sad, all the same time! Happy because not everyone really gets the angry stare from Guruji. I personally believe it means that He is working on you. Proud because He knows when I do my sadhana and when I don't!!! Sad because He was there during my sadhana time and I wasn't there.
Well, I just thanked Swamiji and hurriedly packed my bags and left for home. The first thing I did after entering home was to do my Padma and the Kriya. I wonder what His expression will teach me the next time!!!

Jai Gurudeva