Thursday, January 25, 2007

scream

Its clutter.. there's clutter and then there's more clutter. All random thoughts. We tripped the light and danced together to the moon, but where was june?! No it never came around, if it did it never made a sound! Maybe i was absent or listening to fast, catching all the words, the meaning going past, God i miss the girl and i'd go a thousand times around the world just to be, closer to her than to me! Thus they immortalized themselves. The Bread have always been known for their amazing lyrical content matched with some amazing falsetto vocals. However, i never did realise that they will make so much sense. Especially 'Aubrey'!!! and to think of the irony that that was the special song, or was it?! was there even a special song, or was it all a sham?! was it just me? Why is it so bloody difficult?! Why in heaven's name is it so bloody difficult? I've been able to withstand terrible accidents like a hole in my head, blood loss, a hole in my leg and i could go on endlessly, but why in the name of the holy mother of God, am i finding it so difficult. I was fine till now. All these days, i was fine.
I guess its just a phase! Rather, i hope its just a phase! But when will these infrequent phases stop?! Well, with friends cancelling all plans for the hols, they certainly weren't helping. Difficult times, waiting for the summer breeze which will bring a radical change in scene. Mom at home not helping very much either! Maybe she would if she knew what is erally going on my head! In retrospect, for her to know, i first need to know! I completely ruined my sister's visit back home. Made her stay really difficult for her. Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...... Wish i could just scream. cant think anymore.

Monday, January 01, 2007

New Year, Happy?

Typing on a laptop Keyboard is a real pain, unless your used to it! Hmmm... 2007 is around! So keeping in tradition with making bad new year jokes, its been a year since my last post! I had to get back home early last nite! I actually wasnt even allowed out! GROUNDED!!! That's been the word of the day for me for the past one month! Me- Dearest Mother, may I go out for an evening stroll and then maybe go get something to eat with my friends? Dearest Mother- Oh, sonny, Im afraid I can't let you do that. You my son, are grounded! So im quite lucky that i even got to get out. Why Grounded?! Ah! let me just say bad things happen to me when im under the influence! Really bad things which leave me wondering how lucky i am to still be alive! But the fact that I was not allowed out late did not affect me as much as a certain other things did. Well, i wasnt really affected, but when the past gets stirred, it gets quite difficult to sleep. Thoughts of how the transition was made into the new year, a year back, who i was talking to, what the scence was then and what all that build up led to. I cant quite wonder if im a fool, thinking about something that happened a year back! People change, eh! People change their minds! You can never hold someone against what they said sometime, somewhere in the past.
However, i have been able to link the cause of my..., shall we say, Woes?! Well, im not going to play the blame game! so, i will have to say, it was me!!! It was my decision to get the "Stuff", and it was the "stuff" that led to the other "stuff"! Anyways, it was a rollercoaster ride! I got in, enjoyed the rush of the ride and then the ride got over! So, what are you gonna do?! You cant jus sit there and refuse to get out! You get out and move on to the next ride! Its funny how instances in life can be related to an amusement park! Or, is it the other way around! Anyways, Father is back asking for his laptop, which would mean i gotta scoot!
Closing line: I shall not repeat the mistakes that i made in 2006!
Closing line 2! I am gonna spend an entire working day without any footwear! Yup! Go to college and then get back home without footwear. Why you ask? I havent the slightest clue!!!