Friday, August 17, 2007

So long!!!

What can i tell you, as I'm standing next to you!!! On every street- Dire Straits. This is a happy blog.. Wow!!! I never thought i would ever get here! But hey, here i am! after musings on Love and broken hearts and lamenting lover songs, moods of wandering minstrels and depressed tears! Im glad to say that I am in a happy place! come to think of it, i always was in a happy place. Just that i refused to acknowledge it! Living in a world of self- victimization is futile. Life's too good for that. After all, what's the point in being sad?! Its paradise! Life is what you make of it! you wear yellow shades and look at the world- everything is just going to be plain yellow! throw those damn glasses away and you see clear! OK! im not going to beat around the bush! Being single has been the best thing that has ever happened to me this year! I have soooooooooooooo much time for myself now and it just feels great to not be obligated to do something! why worry! there should be laughter after pain, there should be sunshine after rain, these things should always be the same!!! i could just scream out of joy!!!
Well, why is that i am here after such a long time?! I dunno! maybe the fact that im such a collosal prick has something to with it! Well, frankly i dont give a shit!
Im at peace! Finally!!!! At peace with people, at peace with myself, with past situations! Im finally at peace!!! I can really say now that the past is not cluttered up in my head! I do wake up with memories of the past on some mornings, but they do not drive my emotions through the rest of the day! WOW! Nice going buddy! OK, now im talking to myself!!! uh oh, the song im listening to is sayin- a denial!!! Naah!!! no signs or crap!!! Life is going so good! sometimes i dunno if its a dream! how do i know that this is all real? What if this itself is a dream and i am yet to wake up!!! AH! lets not get into that now! Im absolutely enjoying work! Its so creatively stimulating! The music scene is going good! And with sync, i like it just the way it is!! poi- fect senor!!! HAPPY DAYS!

Thursday, January 25, 2007


Its clutter.. there's clutter and then there's more clutter. All random thoughts. We tripped the light and danced together to the moon, but where was june?! No it never came around, if it did it never made a sound! Maybe i was absent or listening to fast, catching all the words, the meaning going past, God i miss the girl and i'd go a thousand times around the world just to be, closer to her than to me! Thus they immortalized themselves. The Bread have always been known for their amazing lyrical content matched with some amazing falsetto vocals. However, i never did realise that they will make so much sense. Especially 'Aubrey'!!! and to think of the irony that that was the special song, or was it?! was there even a special song, or was it all a sham?! was it just me? Why is it so bloody difficult?! Why in heaven's name is it so bloody difficult? I've been able to withstand terrible accidents like a hole in my head, blood loss, a hole in my leg and i could go on endlessly, but why in the name of the holy mother of God, am i finding it so difficult. I was fine till now. All these days, i was fine.
I guess its just a phase! Rather, i hope its just a phase! But when will these infrequent phases stop?! Well, with friends cancelling all plans for the hols, they certainly weren't helping. Difficult times, waiting for the summer breeze which will bring a radical change in scene. Mom at home not helping very much either! Maybe she would if she knew what is erally going on my head! In retrospect, for her to know, i first need to know! I completely ruined my sister's visit back home. Made her stay really difficult for her. Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...... Wish i could just scream. cant think anymore.

Monday, January 01, 2007

New Year, Happy?

Typing on a laptop Keyboard is a real pain, unless your used to it! Hmmm... 2007 is around! So keeping in tradition with making bad new year jokes, its been a year since my last post! I had to get back home early last nite! I actually wasnt even allowed out! GROUNDED!!! That's been the word of the day for me for the past one month! Me- Dearest Mother, may I go out for an evening stroll and then maybe go get something to eat with my friends? Dearest Mother- Oh, sonny, Im afraid I can't let you do that. You my son, are grounded! So im quite lucky that i even got to get out. Why Grounded?! Ah! let me just say bad things happen to me when im under the influence! Really bad things which leave me wondering how lucky i am to still be alive! But the fact that I was not allowed out late did not affect me as much as a certain other things did. Well, i wasnt really affected, but when the past gets stirred, it gets quite difficult to sleep. Thoughts of how the transition was made into the new year, a year back, who i was talking to, what the scence was then and what all that build up led to. I cant quite wonder if im a fool, thinking about something that happened a year back! People change, eh! People change their minds! You can never hold someone against what they said sometime, somewhere in the past.
However, i have been able to link the cause of my..., shall we say, Woes?! Well, im not going to play the blame game! so, i will have to say, it was me!!! It was my decision to get the "Stuff", and it was the "stuff" that led to the other "stuff"! Anyways, it was a rollercoaster ride! I got in, enjoyed the rush of the ride and then the ride got over! So, what are you gonna do?! You cant jus sit there and refuse to get out! You get out and move on to the next ride! Its funny how instances in life can be related to an amusement park! Or, is it the other way around! Anyways, Father is back asking for his laptop, which would mean i gotta scoot!
Closing line: I shall not repeat the mistakes that i made in 2006!
Closing line 2! I am gonna spend an entire working day without any footwear! Yup! Go to college and then get back home without footwear. Why you ask? I havent the slightest clue!!!