Saturday, November 04, 2006
Its been quite some time since i got back. its been quite hectic. With hardly any sleep after my return, having to drive 400 kms and back in two days and not to mention the mosquitos in Madras! The internals have also come and passed, and now finally, i have time to sit down and do what i want to do. What do I want to do?! I haven't the slightest clue! I don't know where to start! Thoughts cluttering up my head. Im lost and all alone, I always thought i could make it on my own, I wander through the night and search the world for the words to make it right. We always have our weak moments, those vulnerable times when no mater how strong we are, that fortress in which we have locked all our feelings breaks. Its quite a difficult time. The confusion. More than the calm before the storm, its the calm after the storm that is painful. once the dust settles, the remains are seen and what a sight it is! Devastation! I also realise that the more we try to delve on abstract topics and gain some knowledge on their intricacies, the more we get tied up in them. Abstract thoughts such as Love and Love in particular are like the webs made by spiders and anyone who reflects on it, is the unsuspecting fly! The trap has been set and once you step in, there is just no going back. Mind you, i'm not talking about falling in Love. I'm only touching on the subject of thoughts on Love. What is Love?! That might sound as probably one of the most ridiculous questions. But every time i ask myself that question, i don't seem to be able to come up with an answer that convinces me! Again, let me make it clear that i'm not talking about cheap six month flings where the word Love is thrown around like a basketball and at the end of the day, its over! Is it possible to UNLOVE someone?! Why do i Love my parents?! Is it only because they have fed me, given me shelter and clothing?! Would I have still Loved them, if they had abandoned me when i was an infant?! Would I have loved the people who brought me up, or, on knowing who my real parents were, would I have loved them or despised them?! Quite the "conditional love" it seems to be! Do i love people who only mean a lot to me, or do i Love each and every human being on the face of this planet equally. I would Love, to Love all equally, but why is it so difficult?! Would it be so, because its not unconditional?! The more i try to solve this, the more i realise i can't put in equations, perform certain operations to get an answer. Is Love something that is ineffable?! I know what hate is and hate is the opposite of Love. Yet that does not seem to tell me what love is cause its only a relative position. What is Love- as an absolute entity?! Beats me!!!If we had love before, we can have it once more. anyone who can throw some light on this?!