Kamalshile - Part 3

After a good two days of rest, Im feeling slightly better. Hence, continues the Kamalshile 'k'ronicle! On day two, I realised that there were some bathrooms where warm water was available! So, off Ravi and I went again, early in the morning at 5 something, with full vigour just to realise that the early sadhak gets the bathroom!!! There was nice small queue! So, Ravi and I queued up in front of the 3rd door ( had a nice chewing gum blob stuck onto it to cover a hole), wondering why no one else was in front of that particular door! After about 15 mins, we realised why. The person on the inside, was not someone who was willing to 'let go' of the bathroom. He was quite slow, unlike a hmmm.. shall we say, a Suzuki!!! By now, quite a few of us gather outside the door. Ravi changes doors and we continue to wait, patiently knocking on (heaven's) door. Finally, lo behold it opens! Quick bath and I rush up to the hall to get clothed. The hall is almost full with people doing their various stretches and breathing exercises and a few excited aunties trying to communicate with each other in sign language! First session done and my knees are already killing me. Its just day two of the course and Im already silently looking out for a chair. Sumptuous breakfast is followed by the second session for the day! More celebration and more silence (except for those sign language aunties though)!

Next, lunch! Then more silence! Makes me want to say, Silence'er' followed by silence-est! After that, lovely Kashayam!!! Followed by the grandest nature walk ever! We first climbed the hill. Took short cuts. Ravi just took too much time. So I just left on my own and it started to rain. Taking shortcuts through the hill, I managed to get to... "The mouth of the cave", where Kanasu and gang were waiting for us. There, at the mouth, stood a beautiful tulasi(basil) plant. The tulasi is worshipped around India for its connection with the godess Saraswati and also because of its medicinal nature. There is a small almost bus shelter kind of a construction right outside the cave where we all left our umberellas and other accessories! The guide insisted that we leave our footwear quite far away! The Guide who took us into the cave, was a really really funny guy! Also, a very kind hearted person whose language of the heart more than made up for his lack of knowledge of the english language. "25 people only in one group". He was firm about it. At the end, there were about 40 people in our group! The place Kamalashile gets its name from this very cave! I had a very Indiana Jones feeling as I walked into the cave!Holding a lamp, helping all the people go in!!! "Into the caves", I shouted in my head, imagining myself to be the host of "The crystal maze"! The cave just kept going into the ground. Most of the cave was completely wet due to the rains, but there was one dry spot which we were told was the place where a lady ( I forget her name) sat and meditated for 11 years. As we went in deeper, we reached a place where the water was knee deep! Wading through that water, we got to the other end and surprisingly, the earth there was really really soft. Someone held the lamp up and only then did I realise, we were standing on about a foot of 'bat droppings'! "Sarvam Guru Mayam" again!!! The bats, according to our guide, were featured on NatGeo recently. They belonged to a particular variety of bats that thrived on blood, but only the ones from this cave, did no harm to any creature because they were in the home of the Divine Mother! Then came the darkest moment. All the lights were turned out and all of us were given a 'glimpse' of what a blind person goes through. About 100 mts under the earth's surface, and it was DARK. The climb out of the cave was quick. As we were walking back, I suddenly realised it was getting late and off I went. There was no 'fire on the mountain', but run run run I did. I made it in time to get the keyboard, take a bath, have dinner and sit at the satsang!!! Bath was an epic event in itself. As I stood waiting for the gates to open, Ravi joined in. As we stood wondering what was behind door number 3, I thought I could see our friend Suzuki!!! Something made me step aside for a while, while Ravi started to intensify the knocks on the door. All of a sudden, SPLASH!!!! A mug of cold water was thrown out from behind the door on Ravi's face that almost sent him sprawling onto the floor! Everyone waiting there had a really good laugh!

Day two of the course was coming to a draw. That night we all had a special blanket that we were provided with. A blanket that no wool or material could surpass! A warmth that nothing else could provide. A sense of security that no walls could provide. That night, I went to sleep with a smile on my face that no boxer could knock out!

Jai Gurudeva.

Kamalashile - Part 2

...and so that brings us to the second day! The day the course began! Nothing will be mentioned here about the processes of course, but things went pretty smoothly. I did forget to mention about the food in the previous post. There is a unique tradition in Kamalshile of serving rasam and rice prior to serving sambhar. The sweets and payasam(kheer; a liquidy sweet) and curry and rasam and sambhar ensured that all course participants added atleast a couple of kilos before they left from the place. Not to mention the amazing seva of cooking and serving food done by Jeethu, Sudhee and gang. After the morning Om Namah Shivayah Chanting, Suryanamaskaras and Kriya which were so beautufully led by Prashant (who somebody thinks I have a lot to learn from), off we headed for breakfast! Guess what?! My favourite!! I almost screamed out of Joy; Dosas!!! Seva was certainly what I had expected I will get!!! I was really being pulled out of my comfort zone!! But luckily for me, I had Ravi to help me and together we managed to undo what a lot of others had done!!! Just as we finished, we heard that the water from all that raining had flooded the temple and had just touched the feet of the Divine Mother and was receeding back. Off we went, rushed into the temple, pulling our pants up and taking our shirts off! We waded into the temple, but alas, the water had already receeded quite a bit. Lunch was then followed by the next session and after enough breaks, off we went on the nature walk; To one of the most beautiful and accessible waterfalls!!! We had to climb a hill, cross a couple streams of flowing water, more climbing and finally, there it was in its greandeur. Quite small, but powerful. Ravi and I made the mistake of walking barefoot! The tiny stones rough terrain made our feet beg for some protection, but then again, hey, "Sarvam Guru Mayam"!!! No pain, no gain!!!

A hasty return from the waterfall, some of us lost our way and entered private property. The owners were kind enough to guide us along the right path and there were no legal issues to be bothered about! Once we got back, we found that the hall was taken by the volunteers who were doing their long kriya and so we couldn't go in to change (we were drenched both in the rain and in sweat- which is not a very comfortable feeling). Some of us were musing on the thought of eating some bajjis, which Mala outright turned down. Finally, the doors opened and after a quick change, we all ran out for dinner. Dinner in Kamalashile is a unique affair. It consists of Kanji (Boiled rice made in the form of a porridge), with salt, some vegetables and some very tasty coconut chutney! I did forget to mention the really nice Kashayam (spiced warm drink that is very good for the health) that we all got before we embarked on the nature walk!!! Post dinner, satsang time!!! Yay!!! Amidst all the nature walk and everything, I had totally forgotten about Chayanna's Keyboard. As I entered the satsang hall, there it sat right in the front. After the satsang, we all officially went into silence. A silence that each one of us celebrated and continue to celebrate within us. A silence that leads one from the gross to the subtle. A silence that takes one into the world of thoughts where the possibilities are endless. Our celebration of silence had officially begun!!! As I picked up the Keyboard to take it back to Chayanna's room, Sudhee walked across the room and gently reminded me that come what may, it was my responsibility to bring the keyboard before the satsang and take it back after the satsang! Day one of the course was over!!!

Jai Gurudeva

Kamalashile - part 1

Bliss!! Bliss!! and nothing but Bliss!!! 5 days of bliss at Kamalashile. When Chayanna walked in to the hall on the 7th, it was not just a sight to see, but an experience in itself. Many of us had the experience of seeing the Lord Shiva Himself entering the hall. Chayanna was Pure Fire!!! After the Guru Poornima celebrations, Chayanna asked us to go to the temple after the temple visit, as we were coming out, He saw me and said, "Ah, come come"! I officially entered a parallel world at that moment. After that, I was fortunate enough to hold the umberella for him as He walked back to His room. The next half hour was spent in general discussions of plans in the near future etc., I then remembered that I had got a Veshti (dhoti) and Thundu (towel) for Him. Excusing myself for 5 minutes, I ran up to the room where I had dropped my luggage and brought the 'stuff'! Another 15 mins spent with Chayanna and He instructed me to go and have lunch. After Lunch, started the honour of serving lunch for Him. Its always great great fun serving while Chayanna eats!!! Its just a simply superb feeling!!!

That evening, the satsang was mind blowing! The mind really got blown and we transcended all the levels of existence and were taken to the higher plane! The responsiblity of bringing Chayanna's Keyboard to the satsangs and taking it back at the end of the satsangs was given to me!!! Wow! That would ensure that I would be able to meet him personally atleast twice every day!!! After satsang, that evening, I also had the honour of meeting Sri. Aravind Hebbar! His voice is amazing! The devotion, the way it flows when he sings, WOW!!! Plus, he sings in C#!!! Later that night, I went back to my room, which I was sharing with the famous Vaidhyaji, the great DSN teacher; Jagadeesh Shastriji, the ever cheerful Rajashekarji. Somewhere after about 15 mins of lying down, our dear friend, Sudee (Sudarshan) walks in and asks us all to vacate the room as a couple of ladies from Bangalore had just got there and they needed the room. So, off we went to the main meditation hall where the Guru Poornima Yagya and happened and happily fell asleep, till about 3 in the morning! It had started to rain and the temperature just dropped down. It was collllldddd!!!! But then, Chayanna's words of, "Sarvam Guru Mayam" popped into my head, brought back a smile and off I went to sleep again! The next morning, Ravi and Chidananda (Chiddu) were kind enough to wake me up and I went off to take a bath. The water was chilling to the bone. But then again, "Sarvam Guru Mayam"!!! It really is a mantra that enables one to withstand anything"!!! The advanced course had just begun. More on it in the next post...

Jai Gurudeva

Jayanth

resistance and persistance

I wonder why I hold on to the things that resist the most. Its the nature of the mind i hear, that whatever we resist, persists in it. A young man wanting to find deeper meaning in his life went in search of a master who could help him. He chanced upon a really old sage(with a flowing beard and all the works)!!! He humbly bowed down before the wise man who was in a deep state of meditation. The young man waits for quite a bit of time with what he believes is a lot of patience, before the wise old man opens his eyes and blesses him. The young man genuflets before the wise one and addresses him; " Oh wise one, I do not see the joys of living in the world. Nothing seems to be of any value there. I am tired of all the struggle for acquiring material assets and don't see the point to it all. I have decided that I am going to live the life of an ascetic and a hermit, searching for the truth and who I am". The sage looked calmly and asked him to continue. The young man replied saying there was nothing more. He was now looking for a master who could guide him and help him through this journey and was hoping that the old man would take him as his disciple. The old man after giving it a thought, agreed. He then told the young man that there was one condition to him being accepted as a disciple. The young man replied with complete vigor saying he was ready for anything. To this, the old man asked him to come closer and told him that he had to meditate for 3 hours everyday for the next six months. The young man readily agreed saying he was used to sitting still for that much time daily. The sage then said," Oh, but now comes the condition". The man looked readily at the sage. The sage looked around for a few minutes making the young man impatient. Then, with a smile, he pointed up to a tree and showed the man a tiny monkey. He said to the young man; " no matter what happens, when you sit for your meditation, do not think about this particular monkey".
The man thought it was quite simple enough, agreed and went on his way, promising to the old man that he will be back in six months, having completed the task. The sage blessed the young man and sent him on his way.
The next morning, the young man woke up early, took a bath in the river close by and sat with full austerity for the meditation. The moment he closed his eyes, he saw the monkey. He shook his head and brushed the thought away and tried to focus again. A few seconds later, he again saw the monkey, which was now playing gleefully! It was almost like the monkey was taunting him. He tried to brush the thought aside, but again and again, the monkey seemed to appear. No matter what he did, no matter what he tried, he just couldn't get rid of the monkey. By this time, an hour had gone by and he was completey flustered and irritated. He ran to the sage angrily and shouted at him with all his might, " You terrible man, what have you done? All i wanted was to meditate and find the truth and live in peace. Now you have come and fed a monkey into my head that i just can't seem to get rid off". The old man smiled and replied with utmost humour in his voice, " This is my first lesson to you. Anything that you try to resist wil persist. So do not resist the world. Do not grow tired of anything. Do not fight anything in your mind. If you sit back and just observe all the things that happen in your life, you will not only have entertainment absolutely free of cost, you will also see how things happen in your life and how you stay above them all, no matter what the situation is".
I think i started writing this to tell myself that the past has baically gone by and I cant do anything about it. If i try to resist accepting it, thoughts of the past will only persist and i will only suffer... Something on those lines..

jibber jabber and realization

Well, i wonder why the title says Daft! Actually i don't. Hmmm. So, another year rolls by. As time passes by, i trun my head and look around at all the events and people that have passed me. So many of them, causing me to think and behave in so many different ways along these years. There was this guy- Girish i think. Intersting chap. We were good buddies probably about fifteen years ago. Lost touch with him long long ago. Then, there were others who came and went just like the waves. Each one bringing something and taking something with them, but always leaving a memeory to remember. Again, when i think that something is permanent, I am gently reminded that i am wrong. College buddies leave one by one. Each one of us will be gracing different parts of the world. Only time will tell if we are ever destined to meet again and be together. The ways of the world are strange to the logical mind. Yet, there is an intutive or even instinctive feeling that there is a higher logic than what the human mind- so trained to think intellectually, can comprehend. The longing to experience all these realms that one is only capable of reading right now gets more intense by the day. Everyday, commonplace events dont seem to fill that void. I am now reminded of a famous Beatles song that goes- " There are places i remember, all my life, though some have changed. Some forever, not for better".
As i sit here, thinking of the past(Not living in the present- as we all are so often told to do), i see how difficult it is for a person to keep a promise, to not tell a lie, to be honest, to be dispassionate, to be committed, dedicated and so on... I am now reminded of this talk given by a certain someone about discipline. Discipline is required for that which does not seem to be pleasurable at the very outset. Until the practice becomes a part of oneself, it requires discipline. I have no idea why im putting this down, but i just am. Maybe, it will help further the conviction i have in it. Maybe, someday when i read it, i will be reminded of it and will change my mind about something! This now leads me Possibilites. The possiblities in this universe are ENDLESS!!! Why do we often limit ourselves by eliminating possibilities! Ah!! there's no point to such musings! Time to stop the intellect from working and time to start Realizing!!!

So long!!!

What can i tell you, as I'm standing next to you!!! On every street- Dire Straits. This is a happy blog.. Wow!!! I never thought i would ever get here! But hey, here i am! after musings on Love and broken hearts and lamenting lover songs, moods of wandering minstrels and depressed tears! Im glad to say that I am in a happy place! come to think of it, i always was in a happy place. Just that i refused to acknowledge it! Living in a world of self- victimization is futile. Life's too good for that. After all, what's the point in being sad?! Its paradise! Life is what you make of it! you wear yellow shades and look at the world- everything is just going to be plain yellow! throw those damn glasses away and you see clear! OK! im not going to beat around the bush! Being single has been the best thing that has ever happened to me this year! I have soooooooooooooo much time for myself now and it just feels great to not be obligated to do something! why worry! there should be laughter after pain, there should be sunshine after rain, these things should always be the same!!! i could just scream out of joy!!!
Well, why is that i am here after such a long time?! I dunno! maybe the fact that im such a collosal prick has something to with it! Well, frankly i dont give a shit!
Im at peace! Finally!!!! At peace with people, at peace with myself, with past situations! Im finally at peace!!! I can really say now that the past is not cluttered up in my head! I do wake up with memories of the past on some mornings, but they do not drive my emotions through the rest of the day! WOW! Nice going buddy! OK, now im talking to myself!!! uh oh, the song im listening to is sayin- a denial!!! Naah!!! no signs or crap!!! Life is going so good! sometimes i dunno if its a dream! how do i know that this is all real? What if this itself is a dream and i am yet to wake up!!! AH! lets not get into that now! Im absolutely enjoying work! Its so creatively stimulating! The music scene is going good! And with sync, i like it just the way it is!! poi- fect senor!!! HAPPY DAYS!

scream

Its clutter.. there's clutter and then there's more clutter. All random thoughts. We tripped the light and danced together to the moon, but where was june?! No it never came around, if it did it never made a sound! Maybe i was absent or listening to fast, catching all the words, the meaning going past, God i miss the girl and i'd go a thousand times around the world just to be, closer to her than to me! Thus they immortalized themselves. The Bread have always been known for their amazing lyrical content matched with some amazing falsetto vocals. However, i never did realise that they will make so much sense. Especially 'Aubrey'!!! and to think of the irony that that was the special song, or was it?! was there even a special song, or was it all a sham?! was it just me? Why is it so bloody difficult?! Why in heaven's name is it so bloody difficult? I've been able to withstand terrible accidents like a hole in my head, blood loss, a hole in my leg and i could go on endlessly, but why in the name of the holy mother of God, am i finding it so difficult. I was fine till now. All these days, i was fine.
I guess its just a phase! Rather, i hope its just a phase! But when will these infrequent phases stop?! Well, with friends cancelling all plans for the hols, they certainly weren't helping. Difficult times, waiting for the summer breeze which will bring a radical change in scene. Mom at home not helping very much either! Maybe she would if she knew what is erally going on my head! In retrospect, for her to know, i first need to know! I completely ruined my sister's visit back home. Made her stay really difficult for her. Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...... Wish i could just scream. cant think anymore.

New Year, Happy?

Typing on a laptop Keyboard is a real pain, unless your used to it! Hmmm... 2007 is around! So keeping in tradition with making bad new year jokes, its been a year since my last post! I had to get back home early last nite! I actually wasnt even allowed out! GROUNDED!!! That's been the word of the day for me for the past one month! Me- Dearest Mother, may I go out for an evening stroll and then maybe go get something to eat with my friends? Dearest Mother- Oh, sonny, Im afraid I can't let you do that. You my son, are grounded! So im quite lucky that i even got to get out. Why Grounded?! Ah! let me just say bad things happen to me when im under the influence! Really bad things which leave me wondering how lucky i am to still be alive! But the fact that I was not allowed out late did not affect me as much as a certain other things did. Well, i wasnt really affected, but when the past gets stirred, it gets quite difficult to sleep. Thoughts of how the transition was made into the new year, a year back, who i was talking to, what the scence was then and what all that build up led to. I cant quite wonder if im a fool, thinking about something that happened a year back! People change, eh! People change their minds! You can never hold someone against what they said sometime, somewhere in the past.
However, i have been able to link the cause of my..., shall we say, Woes?! Well, im not going to play the blame game! so, i will have to say, it was me!!! It was my decision to get the "Stuff", and it was the "stuff" that led to the other "stuff"! Anyways, it was a rollercoaster ride! I got in, enjoyed the rush of the ride and then the ride got over! So, what are you gonna do?! You cant jus sit there and refuse to get out! You get out and move on to the next ride! Its funny how instances in life can be related to an amusement park! Or, is it the other way around! Anyways, Father is back asking for his laptop, which would mean i gotta scoot!
Closing line: I shall not repeat the mistakes that i made in 2006!
Closing line 2! I am gonna spend an entire working day without any footwear! Yup! Go to college and then get back home without footwear. Why you ask? I havent the slightest clue!!!

Love? what does that mean?!

Its been quite some time since i got back. its been quite hectic. With hardly any sleep after my return, having to drive 400 kms and back in two days and not to mention the mosquitos in Madras! The internals have also come and passed, and now finally, i have time to sit down and do what i want to do. What do I want to do?! I haven't the slightest clue! I don't know where to start! Thoughts cluttering up my head. Im lost and all alone, I always thought i could make it on my own, I wander through the night and search the world for the words to make it right. We always have our weak moments, those vulnerable times when no mater how strong we are, that fortress in which we have locked all our feelings breaks. Its quite a difficult time. The confusion. More than the calm before the storm, its the calm after the storm that is painful. once the dust settles, the remains are seen and what a sight it is! Devastation! I also realise that the more we try to delve on abstract topics and gain some knowledge on their intricacies, the more we get tied up in them. Abstract thoughts such as Love and Love in particular are like the webs made by spiders and anyone who reflects on it, is the unsuspecting fly! The trap has been set and once you step in, there is just no going back. Mind you, i'm not talking about falling in Love. I'm only touching on the subject of thoughts on Love. What is Love?! That might sound as probably one of the most ridiculous questions. But every time i ask myself that question, i don't seem to be able to come up with an answer that convinces me! Again, let me make it clear that i'm not talking about cheap six month flings where the word Love is thrown around like a basketball and at the end of the day, its over! Is it possible to UNLOVE someone?! Why do i Love my parents?! Is it only because they have fed me, given me shelter and clothing?! Would I have still Loved them, if they had abandoned me when i was an infant?! Would I have loved the people who brought me up, or, on knowing who my real parents were, would I have loved them or despised them?! Quite the "conditional love" it seems to be! Do i love people who only mean a lot to me, or do i Love each and every human being on the face of this planet equally. I would Love, to Love all equally, but why is it so difficult?! Would it be so, because its not unconditional?! The more i try to solve this, the more i realise i can't put in equations, perform certain operations to get an answer. Is Love something that is ineffable?! I know what hate is and hate is the opposite of Love. Yet that does not seem to tell me what love is cause its only a relative position. What is Love- as an absolute entity?! Beats me!!!If we had love before, we can have it once more. anyone who can throw some light on this?!

In South Africa

The journey has been made! im here! in South Africa. The journey was long and tiring. Coupled with the flu, things were getting really difficult! The six hour stop over in Dubai was good. The glamour and the Glitz.... Phew... Just at the airport.. but what made it really good was the two hour conversation that i had with a man from Fiji.. He and his friends were returning back home from Iraq. They were serving in the peace keeping force and his friends were injured. Its compulsory for the men of Fiji to enlist in the service for a specified period of time. That conversation taught me that we all are no different from each other. I always knew it. But at that moment i realised it! Life takes us all, down similar paths. its how we walk that path that matters! anyways, im getting charged like crazy for this internet time. so will come back in some time to chronicle my thoughts.

More ZEN than ZEN

As we saw death approach us, we had to pick one of two choices. Stand up and fight, or throw all our baggage and run. Run like the wind. So we decided to stay and fight. The grim reaper! When the battle began, it ended. We realized that we were fighting none but ourselves. I am life. I am the spirit. I am not the body. I am not the mind. I am not the emotion. I am not who I am. I am the soul. I am he who is everywhere, I am he who is nowhere. I am ubiquitous. I am all pervading. I am time, I am space. I am the seas, I am the rivers. I am the skies, I am the air that you breathe. I am the sad song on a lonely evening. I am the smile on the new parent’s face. I am the tear in every eye. I am the memory in every head. I am the lesson that everyone learns. I am the mile in every smile. I am the cloud in that same very sky that I am. I am the free bird that flies. I am the breeze that blows on your face. I am the dance to every song. I am the string of every guitar. I am the first second. I am the voice of the mother that sings to the child. I am the rose on every grave. I am the blade of grass that grows so slow. I am the sunrise. I am the moon. I am the planets. I am the stars. I am the worm. I am the hand that feeds the world. I am the night. I am the day. I am the dawn. I am the dusk. I am the friend that no one had. I am the enemy that no one wants. I AM NOTHING.

Give

This probably isn’t the right time for me to be sitting in front of the computer. I should be studying. But then again, when have I ever done the right things at the right time?! This life that is given to us is too precious. This, I realized while I was traveling in the local bus today. It is my contention that everyone must travel in the local buses of India at least once in their life times. To Mad-ads, you too must really go in those buses once. If you look carefully, one has a lot to learn about life. The most important thing that I gathered from today’s travel- I am one of the luckiest people around. I really shouldn’t be complaining about anything. All of us, we all just wrap ourselves around our own little tiny worlds and don’t see beyond it. There was this man sitting right across from me on the bus. he had a shirt on with most of the buttons gone. His trousers were torn. He didn’t have any footwear on. But, he didn’t care about his clothes. That is not to say he didn’t have any worries. He had causes of worry which made worrying about his clothes insignificant. The frown and glum look on his face was galvanizing. All through the journey, I somehow longed to see him smile. But it was not to be. A man on a bus carrying brooms to be sold in the city. He didn’t have much of a ‘Life’, to put simply. No partying, no pub hopping, not wondering if he should wear his red tie or his black tie to work! We have people struggling to get their next meal, and we have people buying cars and gadgets with limitless zeros following a digit. HOW? Does it not bother people that the man sitting next to them might starve to death over the next week, while they, sitting right next to him might be able to save his life. Materialism knows no bounds. But it is sad to hear people say that, they spend cause they have the money and they cant help it if the others can’t. I’m not being cynical here, but that is something that I hear from a lot of people. In these years of my existence, I’m disappointed to say that there have been hardly any instances where I have seen people GIVE. If someone does give, its in expectations of getting something in return. There was a line that my father used to repeat quite often when I was younger. It was, “I cried that I didn’t have shoes, until I saw a boy with no feet”. For many years I mocked my father when he said this. I ridiculed him saying a boy with no feet needed no shoes and so his statement was quite redundant. But today, I realize how true it is and what meaning is attached to that statement. We never think of how lucky we are. We need to learn to count our blessings. A song that I learnt long back in kindergarten- ‘count your blessings, name them one by one, count your blessings, see what God has done’. We have all that we need, yet me want more. Man’s greed for material wealth is something that can be wiped out only by gaining true happiness. Happiness and satisfaction. True happiness is something, I for one know cannot be obtained with materials. The only way of making it yours, is by giving and giving and giving. The joy associated with giving, is simply immeasurable and out of this world. For those who haven’t experienced it, try it. Put a smile on the face of that man in the bus. The next time a child comes begging, give him some food. The government will not allow you to give him a job. If he has no home, try to arrange for him to move into a ‘home for the needy’. Visit him once in a while and see the glow on that child’s face. ITS OUT OF THIS WORLD! Try it.

Hope

Hope. Is it an emotion? Is it a thought? Or is it a force of nature? Everybody hopes for something. Dreams give rise to hope. The little child that you throw up in the air hopes that you catch him and when you do, his trust in you is reinforced. So Hope leads to Trust?! I guess so. Everyday we all hope that things go fine. Things go the way we want them to go. If they do, great! But, what if they don’t? Do we just hope more, or do we give up? Someone I care a lot about and respect had to say this, when I asked her what she thought of hope? She said, “ It can be good at times, or it can be illusive”. Good at times! How does one know if the hope that they are bearing in their hearts is Good! Or illusive? I guess no one knows. They are lessons to be learnt by getting hurt. You fall, you hurt yourself. You hope that the next time you jump across the pit, you wont fall. You run, you jump and you fall again. Hope grows, so does the depth of the pit. The more the hope, the bigger the fall. Now, am I confused between hope and expectations? It is well known that expectations lead to a downfall. But that my friend is the difference between an expectation and Hope. Cause with expectation, it’s a walk in, walk out scenario. It didn’t happen? It didn’t! But with Hope, there is still that factor of hoping against hope. That tiny glimmer of hope! The fisherman hopes that he can catch fish. His wife hopes that he gets back to shore safe. The fish hope they don’t get netted!! With hope is annexed- prayer! It is only the fatalist that can hope, cause it is only the fatalist that can pray. With prayer comes devotion and with devotion comes that one true pure emotion of all- LOVE. Food for thought.

What's the Time?

Time and tide wait for none? Time is the fourth dimension? Time is the ultimate healer? Looks like time is quite important. Time lost cannot be got back. Time is eternal. Time is actually an immeasurable quantity. It is absolute. It is blasphemy to divide it into units. However, some things have to be done no matter how wrong they are. We know of the three dimensions- Length, breadth and height, or our three axes. Time is the fourth dimension? John Gribbin explains it quite well. Are wounds meant to heal? Does time really heal wounds? I beg to differ. Time does nothing to heal your wounds. It just makes you numb to the pain. The wounds however remain raw and every once in a while, when you let your guard down, time steps back and you feel the pain. Healing those wounds in your prerogative, not time’s. With time, as you get used to the pain, you see that there is no point in leaving the wounds raw. A major chunk of this realization comes from the fact that beyond a certain Time, you realize that the only person who will be left licking their wounds even after eons will be you, and that is because you keep victimizing yourself. The more you victimize yourself, the longer the wounds remain raw. With the passage of Time, our friend- the fourth dimension teaches us that there is no point in victimizing ourselves. It is like the early morning coastal sunrise. It reveals all. So time is not the healer, but the attractive entry sign to the healer’s. It lures you into forgetting the past and helps you make that crucial choice of wanting to be healed. Some however revel in victimizing themselves. For them I have no words. If those neuralisers really worked, it would be amazing.

holy matrimony.. whaaaa???

It has always intrigued me as to how people say they always want to get to know the person they want to get married to, prior to stepping into holy matrimony. Once they find they are incompatible, all that was shared is just lost. Excess baggage. They all want to travel light, but no one is willing to do what it takes to make sure that they do! Is it really that difficult to accept people as they are? Is it really that difficult to Love someone unconditionally? There is actually something remarkable in the concept of arranged marriage. First thing, you accept your counterpart for who they are. There are no expectations. Also the arranged marriage is something which is tested and tried over the ages. It has worked and still does. The result I think is quite visible for everyone to see- lowest number of divorce rates.
Marriage is all about give and take, isn’t it? I wouldn’t know. But that is what I believe it to be. Sacrifices have to be made. Speaking of sacrifices, its not just in people who have been legally bonded, but in any relationship, sacrifices have to be made. There are times when one of the two has to step down. Its not a competition! Its high we all realize that there is no harm in loving someone unconditionally. People make mistakes. Aren’t they allowed second chances? This love and marriage and tricky things. They more you give in them, the more you get. The more you love, the happier you are, and when I say love, I mean unconditionally. To see people separating just after a few months, is quite sad. Values are thrown out of the window and hearts are broken. For what? A measly misunderstanding which could have been sorted out with a single sorry, or even a shut mouth. But then comes out best friend EGO! EGO says, “he/she who has happiness in his/her life shall take me into his/her bosom and I shall do the rest for him/her”! Someone once said, So what’s the glory in living, doesn’t anybody ever stay together any more? And if love never, lasts forever, tell me, what’s forever for?! Food for thought.

Nothing in particular

Seeking Inspiration from Sid, i commence with this. I see this as not just being able to reach out to people who might stumble on what i say or write, but also as a means to chronicle my thoughts. However allowing people to look into my thoughts is a little intimidating. Anyhow, lets see how it goes. As far as realisation goes, one is that money is one of the most primary things inlife. However, a key factor when it comes to it is not to be enslaved by it. As they say in the verbatim- roti, kapadaa, makan. A gross translation would be like this- food, clothing, shelter. Money is needed only for these. It is avariciousness that probably leads to most disputes. Cravings for control over people, situations and even entire nations is driven by the greed for power and money, and in the current scenario, the former can be bought with the latter. What can be done about it, you ask? How about an uprising? How about teling them that such things will not be brooked. We are not to sit by and watch the dog getting stoned(no pun intended). Food for thought!